Deadpool & Wolverine

I just got through watching "Deadpool and Wolverine."

It's a Deadpool movie, so you know what to expect: Gratuitous violence, a bunch of sophomoric one-liners, cameos heretofore unforeseen, and those oddly heartwarming moments you don't expect.

Overall, it's pretty good; the constant bloody fights between the two leads does get a bit tiresome after a while, but nothing that ruins this otherwise solid film. There are some genuine surprise moments connected to the cameos that are pretty funny, and overall the fourth wall breaking is used sparingly this time but still to great effect (make sure to stay to the end to see one of the funnier pay offs).

Even though some events and characters are connected to the "Loki" television show, you really don't HAVE to see it to understand what's going on (it is briefly explained), and it's all in the service of mocking the film industry's weird obsession with multiverses over the last few years.

If Deadpool isn't your thing, it's entirely skippable -- it's certainly not an important film, but if you have any interest in the 20th Century Fox Marvel properties it's a good romp, and easily recommended despite its "R" rating.

The Beekeeper

Oi! I keeps the Bees!

What's it about?

Tonight, I watched “The Beekeeper” (MGM/Miramax, 2024). Elderly Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad… Okay, the mom from “The Cosby Show.” There. Happy?) lives a quiet life isolated in her old farmhouse in rural Massachusetts, estranged from her daughter Verona (Emmy Raver-Lampman) after the death of her soldier son. Her only companion is Adam Clay (Jason Statham), a quiet man who rents space in her barn, tends the fields, and keeps bees on the property. This quiet life is interrupted when she receives a message on her computer telling her that a virus has been detected and her hard drive has been corrupted, along with a service number. Not knowing what to do, Eloise calls the number only to be taken in by a highly specialized group of scammers, who quickly get the trusting old lady to open her accounts for them, whereupon they steal everything, including two million dollars from a charity that she chairs. Upon discovering the theft and unable to cope with the loss, she ends her own life. When Clay discovers her body, he calls his former employers for a favor. His former employers turn out to be a highly secret government organization known as “The Beekeepers,” and their agents have no jurisdictional or legal limitations. Clay quickly tracks down the scammers, beginning a personal war that makes him the target of Verona and the FBI, private security forces, and maybe even the U.S. government itself.

The "Bee" team

Written by schlock-jockey movie extraordinaire Kurt Wimmer, who’s best known for his… let’s just say “questionable” remakes of classic movies (“Total Recall” remake, “Point Break” remake, “Children of the Corn” remake – you get the idea) and “Suicide Squad” director David Ayer (no, not “THE Suicide Squad,” the other, older, less good one) and filmed in the UK in 2022, it was released to theaters back in January of 2024 and went on to make a pretty tidy profit despite its limited budget.

While watching this movie, I had to wonder of Wimmer or someone close to him had been scammed by one of these detestable companies at some point, because they are basically shown as remorseless thieves and killers in their own right, while also being tied to a Q-Anon style conspiracy with the United States Government (represented by Jeremy Irons as former CIA director Wallace Westwyld, using an interesting accent) benefitting from the scam. Add to that the corrupt presidential administration shown in the film, and you begin to see the wheels of conspiracy nuts turning in the background of this movie.

A solid "Bee" movie

Is the acting good? Not really. Is the plot complex? No, not at all. The sets and locations are unusually bland. The bad guys are one-note villains for the most part, portrayed as irretrievably evil or at the very least greedy toadies. There’s not subtilty, no nuance, no grand scheme. With all this said, you’d think that I didn’t like this movie, but…

"Bee" ready, "honey!"

Look, this film isn’t going to win any Oscars. If you’ve ever seen a Jason Statham movie (outside of something directed by Guy Ritchie) then you know EXACTLY what this movie is going to be, and that is extremely action-packed incredibly dumb fun. Once the action starts going, you have Statham flexing his muscles as an unstoppable killing machine, but the movie leans into it in ways you wouldn’t expect, and it is tremendous fun for that alone. “Adam Clay” really isn’t a character at all: He does what he says he’s going to do with no pretense, and in the rare occasions he’s trying to be subtle and stealthy it’s strictly so that his quarry doesn’t run when they see him. I cannot state how much of a relief it is to see action played at a fast clip with absolutely NO slow-motion sequences to speak of (this is NOT a Zack Snyder movie, thank goodness).

Where can you find it?

If you’re a fan of cheesy movies, action movies, and just having a well-executed if extremely dumb time, check this movie out. It’s currently available for purchase on DVD/Blu-Ray and for rental or purchase on all major streaming sites.

Caveman

Love in the Time of Dinosaurs

What's it about?

Tonight's nostalgia pic is "Caveman" (United Artists, 1981). In the year 1 zillion, B.C., a tribe of hunter-gatherers is struggling to survive in the harsh wasteland. The threats are many: Giant dinosaurs, huge insects, starvation, and not finding a mate! We follow the exploits of Atouk (Ringo Starr), a small yet clever caveman who has his heart set on a woman named Lana (played by Ringo's then soon-to-be wife, Barbara Bach).

Our everyman -- er, I mean hero!

A smoldering Barbara Bach as Lana (she's the one on the left) 

There's just one problem: Lana belongs to Tonda (a very ripped-looking John Matuszak), the strongest caveman and the humorless leader of the tribe.

Matuszak, as usual, is a joy to watch.

Caught by Tonda after failing to woo Lana, Atouk is run off into the wasteland, where he re-unites with his injured best friend, Lar (Dennis Quaid).

Atouk and Lar

The two set off on adventures, meeting and uniting a band of misfits and outcasts along the way, including the well-meaning Tala (Shelly Long, in her very first theatrical role) and her blind father, Gog (played by the always hilarious Jack Gilford), who Atouk and Lar save from tar pits and dinosaurs.

Tala and Gog

Can the ever-growing tribe of misfits make it in the prehistoric world?

Some background

Written by comedy writers Rudy De Luca and Carl Gottlieb, you may be interested to know that the film was originally co-directed by Gottlieb and special effects guru Jim Danforth (who produced the stop-motion dinosaur effects for the film), Danforth allegedly left the project with a full third of the film left to finish because the Directors Guild of America refused to give him a co-directing credit that he was contractually owed (frustrating, seeing how the effects required nearly seamless integration of the animated footage and the actors).

Honestly, even claymation Ringo looks good!

A childhood favorite

My first exposure to this film was when it aired on HBO a few years after its theatrical release (I had to have been eight or nine at the time). As with most movies that HBO was able to acquire back then, they played it a lot, but I seldom ever turned the channel when it was on.

I love this movie.

This scene made me hungry for fried eggs. It still makes me hungry for fried eggs...

The good

What do you mean, "it's not scientifically accurate?!"

In case it isn't obvious by the cast and the screenshots, this is a slapstick comedy featuring a large amount of visual gags. Nearly the entire film is pantomime, with the cast doing a lot of physical and expressive acting, because, and I can't stress this enough, the characters in the movie speak in grunts and an adorable caveman language, with the one exception to the gag being Nook (played by comedic actor Evan Kim -- the only person of Asian descent in the cast), who seems to be a time traveler from contemporary times stuck in the distant past (not really, but it is pretty hilarious).

I remember him from the best part of "The Kentucky Fried Movie"

John Matuszak's Tonda is of particular note, as his huge physical presence and over-the-top enraged performances are perfectly interlaced with more subtle comedic tones when he's not throwing people. If you liked him as Sloth in "The Goonies" or as Ogre in "Revenge of the Nerds," you'll like him here (rest in peace, big guy). The beautiful Barbara Bach (who had trouble finding work after 1977's "The Spy Who Loved Me") as Lana is bronzed and ready for backstabbing as she gleefully torments the smitten Atouk.

The special effects are top-notch, and I would even say that by today's standards. This film is mostly a string of visual gags, and so the creature effects (even if they aren't "realistic") are hilarious.

I love this guy!

The expressions of the dinosaurs are fantastic, and even though they're really just stop-motion puppets they emote so expressively that they come off as cute as they are threatening. The abominable snowman creature is just a guy in a suit, but it's still a great balance of scary and funny, what with his exposed buns and the fact that it's played by acting legend and tall person Richard Moll.

The bad

Even though I enjoy it, that doesn't mean that it doesn't have its bad points (this is an early 1980s comedy, after all). Although it isn't quite as bad as some, there are some moments that haven't aged well. Primarily among these is the scene where Atouk tries to take advantage of Lana after she's passed out from a knockout drug mistakenly meant for Tonda. I found this distasteful.

Other "jokes" that don't quite land include the tribe of misfits being joined by minorities, the differently-abled, and by a couple of gay cavemen. Funnily enough, while this was played for "look at the freaks" laughs back then, it makes the movie more endearing now, as the misfit tribe treats them all as equals and seldom plays the diversity for laughs.

Okay for older kids, with caveats

Should you watch it with kids? Well… I don't know. That's up to you, but it is an eighties movie, and so here are a few red flags to watch for: 1.) The near-rape scene. There's no nudity, and it's pantomimed to be more puppy-love than "sexy," but it is there. 2.) On-screen death. It only happens once at the very beginning, and it isn't graphic or played for laughs, but it does happen. 3.) Bully culture. The cave tribe is depicted as a group of mean-spirited bullies and abusers. While it is played for laughs and they are dealt with by the end of the film, it's there and might be triggering for some children. 4.) The swear word. One of the very few English words in this film is a swear word. It's one of the grossest moments of the film in terms of visual humor, but might encourage your kids to start using it, so be aware that it's there. 5.) Drug use. There is a cannabis-inspired plant in the movie that is used as a knockout drug (not as a recreational drug, though), and a dinosaur is shown high at one point.

Outside of that, the humor is very straightforward and visual, with enough visual humor and a short enough run-time (only about an hour and a half) that it seldom drags and might be able to hold their interest.

Where can you watch it?

"Caveman" is currently streaming on Amazon Prime for free with a monthly subscription as well as on DVD and a 2015 Blu-Ray release.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

I Sleep Now!

What's it about?

In honor of its 20th anniversary, tonight's nostalgic pic is "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra" (Fragmighty/Transom Films/Valenti Entertainment, 2004). Dr. Paul Armstrong (Larry Blamire) and his wife Betty (Fay Masterson) are on their way to a rented cabin in the middle of the woods. His mission: To find a meteorite made from the radioactive element atmosphereum for the advancement of science.

"Do you know what this could mean for science? It could mean actual advances in the field of science!"

Meanwhile, another scientist named Dr. Roger Fleming (Brian Howe) is in the forest looking for the nearby Cadavra Cave, the rumored resting place of the fabled Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (Larry Blamire again), which it turns out can only be revived by a radioactive element, atmosphereum.

Our villain.

Keep an eye on that science kit.

Meanwhile, a couple of aliens from the planet Marva named Kro-Bar (Andrew Parks) and Lattis (Susan McConnell) crash land on Earth, with only one thing that can repair their ship: The radioactive element known as atmosphereum.

I'm getting serious "Plan 9 From Outer Space" vibes.

Meanwhile, the aliens' mutant (Darrin Reed) escapes their ship and begins terrorizing the countryside, and it is highly radioactive with atmosphereum.

Yes, it's as funny as it looks.

Meanwhile, using the aliens' technology, Dr. Fleming creates the femme fatale Animala (Jennifer Blaire) to help him infiltrate the Armstrongs' cabin to steal the atmosphereum.

She's made from four animals!

Who will get the atmosphereum? Will the Lost Skeleton conquer the world? I don't know. Oh well.

Some background

This film is writer-director Larry Blamire's love letter to the low-budget sci-fi horror schlock of the 1950s, and it is virtually indistinguishable from the "Z movie" offerings of the time. Filmed with his family and friends on a budget of almost nothing, and partially on location at Bronson Canyon in Griffith Park, Los Angeles, CA (a popular cheap filming location for B movies -- and a few episodes of "Star Trek") with an era-appropriate black and white film grain.

Family: Jennifer Blaire (Animala) is Larry Blamire's real-life wife.

The good

The real star of this film is the script; it's so utterly ridiculous and the dialogue so circular, it instantly evokes the overwrought, earnestly stupid screenplays of the 1950s. The performances and line delivery are all extra hammy and appropriately bad, very fitting for the material. Little touches like Animala's hypnotic go-go dance elevate this to one of the funniest movies of the 2000s.

The filmmakers really knew what they were working on.

The soundtrack is mostly canned samples from old films, which works quite well.

The bad

Not everyone will appreciate this movie, and its middling critical reviews can attest to that fact. There's no high action (actors are seldom put into precarious situations that would require stunt people), and the dialogue's repetitive nature and the slow pacing (things that are hallmarks of this genre) can get old expediently if you're not into it.

The pinnacle of Hollywood special effects: You WILL believe that a skeleton can walk!

There also seems to be a percentage of the population that can't stand watching black and white movies, and if you're one of them then you're not going to have a very good time. Oh well.

Relatively safe for kids

This film is PG for (completely bloodless) deaths and some extremely light innuendo.

The intense mutant v. skeleton fight might be too much for younger viewers (maybe probably).

It is probably quite fine to watch with young children, though the reason this film is so funny will probably fly right over their heads probably. Oh well.

Where can you find it?

I reviewed my DVD copy, but "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra" is available to stream for free on Tubi, and is available to rent/buy from multiple providers including Apple TV, Amazon Prime, and YouTube/Google Play.

Coneheads

A Tale of Two Connies

What's it about?

Tonight's nostalgic pic is "Coneheads" (Paramount, 1993). Alien interlopers Beldar (Dan Aykroyd) and Prymatt (Jane Curtain) have a malfunction on their spaceship while on their way to Earth to conquer the planet. The ship goes down in the ocean and the two are forced to swim to shore without weapons or the means to communicate with their home planet, Remulak. The two find that they know nothing about the local culture, but are forced to blend in until they can contact their superiors. Beldar uses his advanced technical knowledge to work as a TV repair man for Otto (Sinbad) and uses the opportunity to secretly construct a device to contact Remulak.

Ozzie and Harriet, if Ozzie and Harriet were immigrants. And horrific aliens.

He is informed that a space cruiser will be sent to Earth to pick up the two in seven "zurls" (which is apparently the equivalent of nearly two decades on Earth). Prymatt expresses concern and reveals that she is pregnant, to Beldar's delight. When Otto realizes that Beldar is an "illegal alien" he arranges a meeting with mobster Carmine (Adam Sandler) to get him some documentation.

Aw, he's so young! Also, not very funny.

Unbeknownst to everyone, the documents are being tracked by United Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) agents and their insane director, Gorman Seedling (Michael McKean).

This man is an absolute legend.

After the INS raids the aliens' trailer home, Beldar and Prymatt relocate to a new job (taxi driver) and a basement apartment, saving money to buy a home to raise their daughter in.

Driving Miss Drew-ey.

When the second INS raid fails and jeopardizes his promotion, Seedling makes tracking down the aliens his main priority. Beldar and Prymatt give birth to a baby girl and settle into successful suburban life, while their daughter, Connie (Michelle Burke) grows up as an earthling.

She's played as a normal girl in this interpretation, unlike the original sketches.

Can the family maintain their cover while waiting for rescue?

Some background

Wow this is *checks watch* THIRTY YEARS OLD NOW?! That can't be right. Why do my bones hurt?

This is based on the original Saturday Night Live sketches produced by Lorne Michaels and starring Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtain, and Laraine Newman (as the original Connie) all the way back in 1977. There was an effort made before to revive the property (in the 1980s they made some new sketches with Phil Hartman and Nora Dunn taking over for Aykroyd and Curtain), and also make the property more mainstream (see my review of the animated pilot). This film took that humble beginning and made it a blockbuster special-effects-laden film with a $30,000,000 budget (an astronomical amount in 1993)! The ads were everywhere, and it was one of the first times I remember the restaurant chain Subway really leaning into commercial promotions (a Subway restaurant is even prominently featured in a scene). This film had a gigantic cast of well-known comedians and soon-to-be-famous stars.

How big were the stars? This background character swimming coach is played by Ellen DeGeneres.

It's funny, the gags are very visual, and it got absolutely totaled at the box office, only bringing in just over $21,000.000 worldwide, failing to even meet its budget. Even today the film is listed as "rotten" on RottenTomatoes.com, absolutely hated by critics and fans alike.

The good

Surprisingly, despite is cold by-the-numbers corporate veneer, I don't hate this film. I don't know that you can fault the cast for how bad it was received, as it has an astounding amount of Saturday Night Live alumni and NBC sitcom stars in the cast, and every scene and bit part had me pointing at the screen and shouting, "ooh! I know that person!" It delighted me, especially since it makes the aggressive aliens of Remulak seem just as clumsy, overconfident, and incompetent as their earthling counterparts (my favorite joke is when starship Captain Orecruiser, played by Garret Morris, accidentally hits the moon while pulling away from Earth and just pretends like it's normal).

Even if you don't know who Garret Morris is, you've probably seen him in something.

I like the "immigrants are people too" message, but it's not really delivered cleverly or leaned on as much as it could be.

The bad

The film doesn't have very many twists, especially in this day and age, and really just leans into its B-movie tendencies, but while its laughs are usually obvious it rarely goes for the guttural gross-out humor of most "Happy Madison" films, of which this shares some sizeable DNA.

This horrific scene at the dentist is about as bad as it gets.

The one sore spot for me is the sexual aggressiveness of Chris Farley's character "Ronnie," as he almost assaults Connie at one point, but it is played off as "normal" and "romantic" later on.

This character isn't great, but is typical of Chris Farley at the time. 

This is rather shockingly one of the shortest movies I've ever watched, clocking in at just 86 minutes from beginning to the end credit crawl. It might be dragging a bit in spots which is why it seems longer, but I couldn't say for sure; it seems like a normal length film despite its hastened approach.

Go ahead, watch it with the kids

This movie should be okay for younger viewers. It's mostly just a family sitcom with a few light horror elements that are all played for laughs. There's no swearing, although there is a lot of alien sex-talk and innuendo, but as most of the dialogue in these scenes is made up of nonsense words younger viewers might not gather what the scene is referring to even if they understand the tone.

WARNING: May contain questionable levels of Spade.

Is it worth watching? Eeeeh… Probably not. If you're familiar with the cast of SNL and the liked the original sketches it is well worth seeing. It's pretty inoffensive overall, and you might just get a laugh or two, but don't expect biting social commentary or to bust a gut from laughing so hard.

Where can you watch it?

"Coneheads" is available to rent or buy on most platforms, and is can be streamed for no extra cost with YouTube Premium (which is where I watched it), as well as for free with commercials on some other providers (like Pluto TV) at the writing of this review.

Never Say Never Again

Again, Probably Saying It, Probably

What's it about?

Tonight's nostalgic pic is "Never Say Never Again" (Warner Bros., 1983). British secret agent 007 James Bond (Sean Connery) has become middle-aged, and despite being frequently put into "war games" by his handlers, he still longs for more active field work.

"I turned down Schtar Wars because I didn't underschtand it, so when they gave me thisch, I took it!"

His disappointing performance in the war games causes his superior, "M," to send him to a health clinic to recover from years of smoking and drinking. Meanwhile, at the headquarters for the Special Executive for Counterintelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (Sp.E.C.T.R.E.), leader Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Max Von Sydow) gives his lieutenants a situation report on the organization's current ventures.

Aw! Kitteh!

While at the health clinic, Bond observes another patient, U.S. Air Force Captain Jack Petachi (Gavan O'Herlihy) being abused by his nurse, Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera), who recognizes Bond and sends another SPECTRE henchman, Lippe (Pat Roach), to eliminate him.

Remember the bald muscle guy from "Raiders of the Lost Ark? Now he has hair.

After what is possibly one of the most memorable fights in any James Bond movie, Bond manages to kill Lippe (in a way that gave me nightmares as a kid) and report to his superiors.

This death may not seem overly horrific, but you didn't see what he had thrown in his eyes beforehand.

Jack Petachi, it turns out, has been drugged, bought, and blackmailed by SPECTRE to use a surgically implanted prosthetic eye to allow the criminals to steal two nuclear weapons from a test flight;

A novel (and more practical twist) on the "doppelganger" trope. 

if he doesn't do their bidding, they'll kill his sister, Domino (Kim Basigner). Once the deed is done, Blush kills Petachi while his sister is unknowingly held in captivity by SPECTRE second-in-command Maximillian Largo (Klaus Maria Brandauer).

He even has a front row seat to her jazzercise workouts.

Once SPECTRE makes their demand of 25% of every nation's gross domestic product, the leaders of the world go into a panic, and M is forced to put Bond back into service to track down Largo and put an end to SPECTRE's scheme. Can he do it? Of course he can. This is a James Bond movie, after all…

The strange case of Stavro

… Sort of. The production of the Bond films is fascinating, and a great example of intellectual property rights. I won't get into everything here, but in case you don't know, this movie is a re-make of another Bond story, "Thunderball," the movie version of which also starred Sean Connery as James Bond. At the time of "Never Say Never Again," the MGM Studio Bond film production was being handled by Albert R. Broccoli's Eon Productions with Roger Moore starring as Bond, but long-time Bond enthusiasts might have noticed that after the 1960s there is little-to-no mention of SPECTRE or Blofeld, and that's because of "Thunderball." See, "Thunderball" was originally a movie script developed by producer Kevin McClory, writer Jack Whittingham, and James Bond creator Ian Fleming. When the initial collaboration fell through, Fleming went on to write the novel "Thunderball" based on the work, but didn't credit McClory or Whittingham, resulting multiple lawsuits that eventually resulted in McClory taking back the rights to SPECTRE and related characters (which is why the Roger Moore Bond films switch to Blofeld-like industrialists -- but not specifically Blofeld -- as his antagonists of choice). After 10 years, McClory began to re-adapt "Thunderball," and this movie is the result of that messy break-up. It's also why the Eon Productions cast of James Bond regulars doesn't make it into the film (which is ironic, as most of that cast -- minus Connery -- appeared in the 1967 film "Operation Little Brother" reprising their roles, which stars Sean Connery's little brother Neil as the brother of the unnamed James Bond… I might have to cover that film too).

The good

So how does it hold up? This is easily one of my favorite Bond films. As a child, I must confess that I never made the connection to "Thunderball;" It was many years later while re-watching that I recognized that the villains' names were both "Largo," and the rest of the pieces fell into place. While Connery is essentially playing the same Bond (albeit much older), he's ever-so-slightly less misogynous in this film than the original (where he sexually assaults a healthcare worker -- here he just has a lot of inappropriate touching), 

He almost gets Domino's permission in this scene. Almost.

the new cast is mostly superior to the originals. In particular, Klaus Brandauer's Largo is scary, but in a more subtle, sinister way than Adolfo Celi's humorless eyepatch-wearing ogre in the original. Brandauer is funny, with a cherub-like face that makes him likable, but on a dime can turn his charming smile into a deeply psychotic grimace.

He seems insane at times, making him a terrifying villain.

Carrera's Fatima Blush serves the same capacity as Luciana Paluzzi's "Fiona" in the original film, but she plays the role with a bloodlust that is fueled by her inability to kill Bond, which makes her more formidable.

There is a visual pun where the more bond lives the less buttoned-down her appearance gets.

About the only character that falls flat for me is Basinger's Domino; while she is objectified almost as much as Claudine Auger in the original (lots of tight outfits and swimsuits), she doesn't seem to have as many lines and is just there to look worried and essentially do nothing other than act as a prop for the men in the scenes she's in.

"You're so tensche! Let me rub you with my handsch!"

Director Irvin Kershner, who might be best known for "Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back" (AKA "The Best Star Wars Movie Ever Made") is at the height of his powers here, with dynamic action scenes, frenetic chase sequences, and giving this movie and air of science fiction mixed with a bit of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" style set pieces.

This motorcycle chase is gripping!

The man knows how to create a set piece on a budget!

The Bond gadgets in this movie are much more subtle than in the Eon films, but in a way that adds to their real-world usefulness. This is the first appearance of the much-vaunted laser wristwatch, a Bond staple.

"Ach! There'sch a lascher in me wrischtwatch!"

The only "trick" motor vehicle in the film is Bond's motorcycle, which has a rocket booster and wheel bumpers -- that's it. There is an exploding pen, and later a rocket-assisted landing platform (which might be a callback to the utterly pointless jetpack in "Thunderball"), but little else. If nothing else, at least this version of James Bond has the good sense to wear a black wetsuit and black tanks when diving on a covert mission, unlike the original version where he wore -- and I am not making this up -- a bright orange wetsuit with bright white tanks when trying to be sneaky.

Even so, the underwater scenes are still visually comprehensive.

The bad

Still, as a not-quite-James-Bond film, there are things that you are going to miss:

Look, we're not even going to talk about what they did to the casino scene.

The aforementioned casting changes seem odd (perhaps most notably is that "Q" is not played by Desmond Llewelyn, and that saddens me)

"I came here looking for Q. Who the bloody hell are you?"

, but you also won't hear the iconic "James Bond: 007" theme written by Monty Norman. Gone also, for some reason or another, is the iconic Aston Martin DB5, replaced by a rather impressive-but-not-as-cool Bentley 4 1/4 Litre Gurney Nutting.

I mean, it's shiny. I guess.

It's a small price to pay, but it can be noticeable.

It's a James Bond film

This movie is PG. There's not a lot of swearing, and not a lot of blood, but people do die on-screen, and there are a few moments of casual racism (particularly to Middle Eastern people), but hey, they cast Bernie Casey as Felix Leiter, making him the first black man to portray the character over twenty years before Jeffrey Wright did in "Casino Royale," and he's awesome in this, so that's not nothing.

Blaze that trail!

Where can you find it?

This film is currently available to stream on Amazon Prime Video for no extra cost with the monthly subscription, so check it out if you're interested.

Mister Bond, meet Mister Bean!