Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Cleaning Stove Glass Doors (the extra-dirty version)

Innuendo Away!

Okay, so this video was originally shot for my former employer, but while writing the script and filming the video, I noticed... Well, you'll see.

I felt that it was funny, and made sure to layer it on even thicker during the editing, but my bosses weren't impressed, so a newer, cleaner version was put on the site instead. A shame really, as I think this would have gotten FAR MORE views had it stayed up.

Here's the video with disclaimers intact:

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Ben Carson for HUD?!!!

More like CHUD...

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Vote for Hillary!

Ah, once again into the breach...

I guess that it's no secret that I despise Hillary Clinton. I find her record appalling, her demeanor off-putting, and her complete and utter lack of anything even remotely representing honesty about as unappealing as you can get.

Yes, I am voting for her.

There's no secret sauce here: I don't think that the country (or the world for that matter) can survive another idiotic Republican presidency. Only this time, the idiot is orange, a probable rapist, a definite con-man, and whatever a successful businessman is, he's the opposite of that.

Why not vote Green Party instead?

Because they are a joke party. Don't get me wrong, I like Jill Stein. I think that on humanity alone she's far more qualified than any of the corporate and conservative candidates running right now. But c'mon: They've been around for twenty years (two friggin' decades) and have yet to develop a ground game, instead competing in the circus that is the presidential race rather than build a grassroots infrastructure that could be making people's lives better in the meantime. That's what we need, that's what Bernie Sanders is proposing, but that isn't what the Green Party is trying to do, and their incompetence is sickening.

So with that, I'm swallowing my pride and voting for the only candidate that has a chance to stop the "Orangining" of America once and for all. I am voting for Hillary Clinton, but I will NEVER support or trust this woman. I hope that she wins in 2016, and I hope that the pneumonia wins in 2017.

With that, I leave you with these campaign posters:


And alternatively:



Thursday, March 24, 2016

Hill-arity!

To quote ELO: "Ee-ee-vil Woman... EVIL, Woman."

A few years back, I began to see senator Bernie Sanders showing up on talk shows and political round table discussions, and I thought to myself, "Man, he seems so down-to-earth. I wish someone like that would run for president.

I'm not gonna lie, I (like many other people) made the mistake of thinking that person was going to be Barack Obama. Long story short, he wasn't, but at least he wasn't Hillary Clinton...

I guess that it's no secret to my friends that I dislike Hillary Clinton.

No, that's too understated. I downright HATE Hillary Clinton. There are many reasons for this hatred:
  • She reminds me of some other corrupt politicians I've known.
  • She reminds me of other corrupt women I've known.
  • She has one of the worst voting records of any Democratic senator this side of Joe Lieberman.
  • Literally every single time I learn more about her and her husband, I'm more disgusted.
  • She's firm in her beliefs, unless history's against her belief, then she'll retroactively switch positions (never trust time travelers).
  • On second thought, how about some more wiggle-room?
  • Could there be anyone more disingenuous out there? (Well... Maybe Ted Cruz...)
The bottom line is: I can't stand her, and I wish she'd get out of the race. So in honor of that sentiment, I've made a couple of posters in honor of her candidacy:




Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Stop, people. Just stop.

A matter of integrity... 

 I've heard a lot of people saying that this presidential race will be historic, because we're going to follow up the first African-American president in history with either:

  • The first female president (Hillary Clinton).
  • The first Jewish president (Bernie Sanders).
  • The first Hispanic president (Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio).
  • The first flesh-eating lizard person president (Donald Trump).

I am defending Donald Trump. 

It is disgusting to me, as a progressive, to judge if someone is fit for duty as president simply by their race and/or religious background. It isn't fair to say that just because the last seven or eight white Christian male presidents have been slimy no-good politicians who were in all actuality exceptionally incompetent executives or just simply awful, awful failures as human beings, that the Donald won't (slough off the very things that define him and) become the exception. I won't do it, and neither should you. So STOP CALLING HIM A LIZARD PERSON. It isn't fair to this proud Dam Troll-descended citizen with his flowing synthetic dyed-orange hair.

So c'mon progressives, we're better than that. For shame, all of you!
 

Saturday, February 6, 2016