The Love Bug (1997)

Herbie Rides Bananas in Monte Carlo... Again!

I know that you're probably thinking that I am going to review a certain 2005 film starring a pre-trainwreck child actress, but NO! Tonight's nostalgic pic is the 1997 made for television movie "The Love Bug."

Upon hearing that there's a 1997 "Wonderful World of Disney" film called "The Love Bug" and seeing images from this movie you might be inclined to think that it's a remake of the original 1968 film, except that you'd be wrong: This is in fact, another canonical sequel to that film!

What's it about?

We start at a race where we are introduced to Simon Moore III (John Hannah), a former F1 driver and rich heir who purchased a familiar VW Beetle race car which he refers to as "the Douglas car."

"I'm rich! And mean!"

After coming in last, the angry Moore tells his toady employee Rupert (Dana Gould) to get rid of it.

"I'm confused: Am I supposed to be likable, sir?"

Rupert regretfully has the little car towed away.

Sad Herbie.

We cut to a struggling auto garage owned by "Chuck" (Clarence Williams III, who classic TV viewers will recognize as Linc from "The Mod Squad"), whose business is struggling.

"If business gets any worse, I'll trim the staff like I trimmed my afro!"

This serves as the introduction to our protagonist, Hank Cooper (Bruce Campbell), a retired F1 race driver and middling mechanic and his artist friend Roddy Martel (Kevin J. O'Connor).

Hollywood hates Bruce, for some reason.

"I'm the Lord of Illusions!"

Chuck informs Hank that he has to use his waning celebrity by entering a junker race (where mechanics have to fix a broken-down car and drive it for a chance to win the vehicle in a single lap race) in order to promote Chuck's garage. The three judges of the race are the previously established villainous millionaire Simon Moore III, custom car fabricator Donny Shotz (Micky Dolenz of "The Monkees"), and magazine reporter Alex Davis (Alexandra Wentworth), Hank's former girlfriend.

I don't know what I was expecting, but Micky Dolenz wasn't it.

Hank and Roddy are paired with the little Volkswagen, which Hank repairs with input from Roddy who picks up on the little car's communications. Easily winning the race thanks to the VW's seemingly superpowered abilities, Hank piques the interest of the judges, and especially Moore, who becomes obsessed with the car again. Hank and Alex begin to explore the car's capabilities and are informed by Roddy that the car's name is "Herbie," both because the car told him so and because he has a name plate engraved in the boot. Hank refuses to believe that the car was responsible for his sudden success as he starts a new relationship with Alex, while Moore tracks down the car's original designer, Dr. Gustav Stumpfel (Harold Gould) and entices him to build another "living car," this time pouring his self-love and hatred into the mix, creating the demonically evil "Horace, the Hate Bug."

Pictured: Textbook Disney scientist.

As funny as it is sinister.

Can Hank rebuild his life with Herbie while Moore and Horace seek to destroy them both?

Let's get the "bad" out of the way first. 

Disney fans will instantly recognize this film as being produced under the helm of Michael Eisner, who was notorious for creating ultra-cheap sequels and soulless remakes of classic Disney properties. This being a television production means that the budget is even lower than it otherwise would be, and this rears its head in odd ways throughout the film. For example, most of the story is delivered via ham-fisted exposition dumps where characters stand around discussing the past or excessively explaining things that would have required a unit shoot to show the audience. While this stretches the (thin) budget it also leads to stretches of the movie that just seem like padding. Even though the vast majority of the actors here do a fantastic job, one notable standout is actress and "In Living Color" alum Alexandra Wentworth, who is absolutely terrible in this.

"Ahm an ahc-tor! Emotions and such!"

It might be a combination of this being one of her first movie roles or just bad direction, but her lines are delivered unconvincingly with a "read off the page" cadence, which is a shame because nowadays she is quite accomplished (don't judge her career by this movie, is all I'm saying). In spite of this being a sequel, much of the film seems like a retread of the original movie, from the "car kidnaps couple" introduction to the race through the desert at the end.

Some moments seem like storyboards from the first movie.

They try to change certain things up (like Herbie being sliced lengthwise at the end rather than breaking in half along the width of the vehicle in the original), but it still feels like familiar territory.

How is Herbie's engine even running?

The film has almost none of the puppetry of the original movies, which is a shame, and the car doesn't appear to be one of the original production Herbies as there certain elements that are changed or missing (such as the gray seats or the racing stripe on his canvas top).

Herbie Retcons Again!

This movie retcons Herbie's origin and the details of his creation, which for some might be a plus while others might be a major detraction. In this continuity, Herbie was a U.S. government project to create a living machine, where his creator couldn't let the nascent being be used as a weapon and released him into the wild.

Fans will either love or hate this scene, or they'll think it's okay.

This process is what leads the film's antagonist to create a "bigger and more evil version" of the hero car, predating Marvel movies by more than a decade. When you consider that Herbie seemingly already had alternate timelines going, this sort of seals the series as a cinematic trendsetter.

A lot to love, bug

Now let's get into the good. I love this movie. There is an absolutely fantastic cast here, led by "Evil Dead" veteran Bruce Campbell, who somehow never managed to crack into the mainstream despite his leading man good looks and humorous delivery.

Selling it.

Supporting actors John Hannah and Kevin J. O'Connor (who would later star together in 1999's big-budget action/horror movie "The Mummy" alongside Brendan Fraser) deliver may of the funniest lines in the film. Dana Gould's goofy likability is a bit underused, but even his character seems to have layers. Dean Jones reprises his role of Jim Douglas one last time in a moment that may just have fans of the series wiping a tear from their eye.

"One last time, old chum."

While the automotive puppetry falls short, computer animation and compositing effects are much better than a 1997 television movie has any right to have (they still stand out, but look really good for the time).

This made me laugh.

Horace the Hate Bug breaks out one of the series biggest (if not the biggest) villains, and much of the film's production seems to have gone into underlining his menace.

With a bag of dirty tricks.

Overall, despite the flaws, this is almost essential viewing for any Herbie fan…

Where can you watch it?

…Which is a shame, because Disney is trying its level-headed best to sweep the Eisner era under the rug, and as a result there has been no modern release of the film. It is not available on Blu-Ray, it was never released on DVD, and it is not currently being streamed on Disney+ or by any other *legal* means.

"Screw the rules, I have money!"

Unless you're planning on tracking down the ultra-rare VHS copy of the film, you need to watch it any way you can find (rhymes with MooCube).

Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo

Still no seatbelts...

What's it about?

Continuing my Herbie kick, tonight's nostalgic pic is "Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo" (Disney, 1977). Jim Douglas (a role reprised by original actor Dean Jones) and his plucky mechanic "Wheely" Applegate (Don Knotts -- man, this guy's stock was through the roof in the late 70s) are looking to stage a racing comeback, and they've brought their lovable Volkswagen Beetle "Herbie" with them to Paris for the Trans France race and a shot at its $100,000 purse (yes, dollars not francs).

The film wastes no time establishing Herbie is a self-driving car that "pees" on everyone that insults him.

"And this is my OTHER sidekick Wheely. Yep... Been with me the whole time."

Before the race preparations can even begin, a nearby museum is robbed of its prized display, a giant diamond worth approximately six million dollars (not francs). This heinous crime is perpetrated by dapper thief Max (Bernard Fox) and his thuggish compatriot Quincey (Roy Kinnear), who in a desperate attempt to avoid the authorities hide the large jewel in a nearby Herbie's gas tank, unbeknownst to Jim or Wheely.

Hard to see a movie or television program from this time and NOT see one of these two.

Things are further complicated at the qualifying race, as Herbie falls in love with a 1977 Lancia Montecarlo driven by Diane Darcy (Julie Sommars), while Jim and Wheely are struck with a rivalry against German racer Bruno Von Stickle (Eric Braeden).

"You don't want me to compete because I'm a girl!"

"Hallo. Allow me to introduce mine self: I am Bruno Von Deutsche-Bag."

Meanwhile, veteran detective Inspector Bouchet (Jaques Marin) and his bumbling right-hand man Detective Fontenoy (Xavier Saint Macary) seek the diamond and its thieves.

These two were my favorite part of the film. Macary is just so likable and Marin gives another fantastic performance.

It's a wild race across the countryside as Herbie chases the Lancia and Von Stickle, the thieves chase Herbie, and the police chase the thieves on the long and winding road to Monte Carlo!

The race is on!

Some details about the movie

This film is another sequel to 1968's "The Love Bug," but seems more like an alternate timeline of events, completely ignoring the events of the previous (terrible) film, "Herbie Rides Again" in favor of being a direct sequel to the original. This in itself comes with a caveat: No mention is made of Carole Bennett (Michele Lee's character from the original film) or Tennessee Steinmetz (Buddy Hackett's character) despite "Herbie Rides Again" going out of its way to tie the two movies together. In fact, in "Herbie Rides Again" it is mentioned that Jim Douglas went to Europe to race and left Herbie behind, while in this film he clearly took Herbie with him. But there are other odd little inconsistencies as well, such as Wheely stating that they were looking for a comeback after twelve years, despite "The Love Bug" canonically taking place only nine or ten years previous, and Wheely not being a character in that film.

"This reminds me of the time we lost our wheel that one race." "For the last time, Wheely: YOU WEREN'T THERE."

If you're a stickler for continuity, this is probably going to put you on pins and needles, but if you can ignore it it's pretty benign.

Fortunately, this film is a return to form, better than the last movie by at least staying true to what made the first so special: Car racing and a cute little love story, even if the love story in this film is between Herbie and Giselle (the 1977 Lancia) more than the human characters.

It's adorable.

There are a fair number of puppeteering moments with full-sized cars rather than the miniature work of "Herbie Rides Again," which is much more convincing to the lens, and this is also the first instance featured in film of Herbie moving his headlights like they are eyes, although this was only done for a single visual gag and not regularly like in some future films.

A love bug in love.

While Giselle is another anthropomorphic vehicle, she is at least the only one in the movie and not the overblown and weird extras from the last film.

I'm looking at you, ABOMINATION!

Dean Jones is a serviceable leading man (although this is the last time he would be the lead in a Disney film), but the long list of comedic and veteran character actors filling most of the other roles really elevates the film. Xavier Saint Macary is a delight to watch as the ever-smiling, adorable, and almost idiotic Detective Fontenoy, which made me all the sadder to learn that he died a few years after the filming of this, robbing the world of his on-screen charisma.

Can't love it all, I guess

Is it all good? Well… It does have its flaws. It's far more reserved with its green screen effects than the last movie, but they are there and they are persistent.

The "Top Gun" moment.

The racing portions aren't quite as inventive as they were in "The Love Bug," but at least they're there. They mostly filmed on location in France and Monaco, so there is a lot of beautiful countryside to view.

They like to remind you of it, too.

They villains are serviceable, but they aren't quite the moustache-twirling delight of David Tomlinson. Von Sickle in particular just seems like an egotistical jerk rather than a devious and cartoonish saboteur, but he's not really the main villain of the film, so it's understandable. I don't want to sound like a "men's rights" troglodyte, but I do have to say that Julie Sommars's Diane Darcy is a fairly unlikable one-note "I'm a girl and I can do it" character that lacks the complexity or sex appeal of either Michele Lee's or Stefanie Powers's characters from the preceding movies.

Again, the love story here is between the cars.

Is it okay for kids?

While this film lacks the emotional impact of "The Love Bug," it is still considerably better than "Herbie Rides Again." Young children might be more entertained by the slapstick humor and numerous visual gags of Herbie basically being a superhero in the previous film, but older filmgoers will appreciate the more cohesive plot and (slightly) more complex storytelling of this movie; it feels far less of a chore to watch than that other sequel.

There's still some cartoonish slapstick, though.

Where can you watch it?

"Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo" is currently streaming on Disney+.  

It's hardly a "diamond in the rough," though.

The Love Bug

Love in the time before seatbelts

What's it about?

Tonight's nostalgic pic is "The Love Bug" (Disney, 1968). Jim Douglas (Dean Jones) is a race driver with a string of recent spectacular losses, and is on the verge of aging out of his sport.

He's basically crap.

After his latest loss he finds himself wandering the streets of San Francisco until he finds himself in the European supercar showroom of Peter Thorndyke (David Tomlinson) and his assistant Carole Bennett (Michele Lee).

The love interest.

When Thorndyke begins assaulting a small Volkswagen Beetle that had been returned that morning, Douglas steps in to defend the little car…

WAIT... Is that... Joe Flynn? AGAIN?

Which follows him home on its own power. Suspected of grand theft auto, Douglas is forced into an arrangement to purchase the car from Thorndyke in lieu of charges. He soon discovers that the little car seems to have a mind of its own -- and the heart of a champion! Soon after Douglas begins winning races in the little car (who becomes affectionately named "Herbie") as he starts to build a relationship with Carole. Thorndyke, a seasoned race car driver in his own right, soon begins to suspect that there may be more to the little "Bug" and soon becomes obsessed with defeating it!

Also: Revenge for getting covered in gunk in every scene.

A brief background

This movie is loosely based on the Gordon Buford book "Car, Boy, Girl," and was allegedly the last film that studio founder Walt Disney authorized for production before his death in 1966, and is largely considered one of the last films of that era.

The races are obviously trickery, but still quite good!

A lot to love, bug!

I love this movie. It has a small central cast of Disney staples (including Joe Flynn, who has been in almost every single movie I've reviewed of late. Weird) and features smutty adult comedian Buddy Hackett as Jim Douglas's roommate Tennessee Steinmetz, a lovable good-natured family friendly goofball, which he excels at and has many of the funniest lines in the film. David Tomlinson is at his peak here, as a slimy mustache-twisting rat-like villain, whose antics provide much of the laughs in the third act.

"Muttley! Do something!"

But the film isn't just laughs, it does so much more with the material. It takes an object, in this case the little white Volkswagen Beetle, and turns it into an animate creature, who is loveable and feeling, long before movies like "Toy Story," and arguably even better here.

"Drunk Herbie" is a sight to behold!

There's a point in the film where Jim Douglas, high on the success that Herbie's wins bought him, tries to replace the little car, and you can feel it's pain.

It's never explained how he pays for the destroyed Lamborghini (played by a Jaguar in this scene).

Once Douglas realizes what he's done, he runs the foggy, haunting streets of San Francisco in a scene that is both heartfelt and dramatic.

These scenes still give me chills.

This little goofy film about an anthropomorphic racecar is quite epic, and in my opinion, one of the best Disney films ever made.

If you don't feel anything here, you might actually be dead inside.

Think of it as a period piece

Is it perfect? No. Of course not: It is dated by today's standards. The cars are of their time, and there are also references to finances that are laughable in our time of hyper-inflation and low wages. Of course, this was less palpable when I was a kid watching this movie in re-runs back in the 1970s and 1980s, but there's no getting around it now. There are also some culturally insensitive scenes involving Asian-Americans and Mexicans, but the former is central to the film's endgame and the latter is thankfully brief.

Benson Fong as "Tang Wu." No Engrish (thankfully), but still something of a stereotype.

It has a lot of soundstage, matte painting, and green screen effects, but it is pretty well done for the time and doesn't come off as cheap.

This totally unnecessary gag is still pretty good.

Where can you watch it?

"The Love Bug" is currently streaming on Disney+. Give it a watch: It's a great film for the family.