Owing to the advice of my friend Bill, I went back today and edited all references to customers, service, and sales out of my online resumes. While this will obviously result in fewer hits from employers, it will (hopefully) weed out the ones that just send out as many "interview" e-mails as possible (because their turnaround time is probably very short) in order to fill positions catering to drooling bastard customers.
Of course, anyone who actually reads my resume won't hire me, because I've shaken all pretense of being the consummate professional, and opted for a more glib style to indicate my preferences. I want an employer that wants me for me and my abilities (whatever those are), not because I have to sugarcoat my excessively negative personality to deal with the very people who annoy me most.
Lets face it: the odds of me getting a job strictly through an online career website are about the same as my getting a date online - it could be done, but I'd have to lower my standards (all the good ones see my picture and bolt), and at this point in my life I'm less willing to do that.