The House On Haunted Hill -- worth a watch!

A house. On a haunted hill no less!

The plot of it all

I know that Halloween is technically over, but as someone cursed to work all major holidays I feel compelled to squeeze in one last Spooky Movie Tuesday. Tonight's film is "The House On Haunted Hill" (Allied Artists Pictures, 1959). Five strangers are driven in a funeral procession to a giant abandoned mansion in the countryside. Each has been promised $10,000 by eccentric millionaire Frederick Loren (Vincent Price) if they will stay the entire night at the "most haunted house in America" for a party in honor of his wife, Annabelle (Carol Ohmart).

The only chemistry between these two involves arsenic.

Loren invites a diverse cast (of all white people) including test pilot Lance Schroeder (Richard Long),

Original character name: "Stud Manley."

psychotherapist Dr. David Trent (Alan Marshal),

Meet Dr. Sensible.

columnist Ruth Bridges (Julie Mitchum),

Robert Mitchum's sister. That's not a joke.

and secretary Nora Manning (Carolyn Craig).

Hysterical, because she's a woman.

With seven brutal and unusual murders committed under its roof, its reluctant heir (and party guest) Watson Pritchard (Elisha Cook Jr.) acts as a guide to the other guests, showing them the crime scenes and trying to convince them to leave before it's too late.

Not hysterical, because he's a man.

Meet-cute.

Meanwhile, Loren and Annabelle seem to be having a falling out; he is convinced that she is up to something while she accuses him of unreasonable jealousy. Once midnight arrives the guests will be locked in for the night with no chance of escape.

Mansion's caretakers... or partygoer jailers?

Why has Loren invited total strangers to the party? Is everyone who they say they are? Is there murder afoot, or will the strangers succumb to the ghosts in the house on Haunted Hill?

Pictured: Probably murder.

The start of a legacy.

This is one of the many horror and thriller films directed by William Castle, who is also known for "The Tingler" (1959) and the original "13 Ghosts" (1960). It is another example of a 'dark house' film; a movie with an ensemble cast set in a single location (usually a mansion) that involves a murder mystery or the supernatural (see my previous review of "The Gorilla" for another example). Castle's films for the time were also known for their theatrical gimmicks. This used "Emergo," whereupon a plastic skeleton would be flown over the audience in the theater once the skeleton in the film emerges from its grave.

Eek! A skele-man!

While you won't have this experience at home (at least not without some effort on your part), that doesn't mean that the film isn't capable of delivering a fright or two.

The bad

There isn't much of a plot. The acting is effective but the dialog isn't stellar. There's not much in the way of gore, and some of the effects might seem laughable to modern audiences.

This is all the goriness you get. It's still scary, though.

Up to speed? Good.

The good

I love this movie. It's become a staple of my Halloween viewing selection. Ironically, the rather dated gimmicks used in its filming and production make it timeless in my opinion. The film starts with a dark screen with some rather terrifying sounds that will make you jump if you're not expecting them (or if your sound system defaults to an unreasonably loud volume every time you turn it on like mine did). There are only a few ghostly scares in the film, but they are absolutely memorable and otherworldly. At the same time, the film leaves it somewhat ambiguous as to whether they're all staged or if some are real.

One suspect down, six to go.

Even if you think that it's campy and a little goofy, the film's incredibly short runtime (clocking in at about one and a quarter hours) the pacing of dialog and scares ensures that you won't be bored while watching it.

You'll want to do this yourself before the movie's done.

There are choices, but are they really choices?

Please note that there is a (laughably) colorized version floating around (as well as a few experimental color overlay versions), but the film was originally presented in black and white, and honestly I feel that it works best that way.

I mean, it's mostly dark anyway.

Where can you watch it?

While the film is currently distributed by Warner Bros., the copyright was allowed to expire, meaning that it is now in the public domain. This means that you can watch if for free (legally) at a variety of sources. For this review I streamed it on Amazon Prime, but you can also watch it here.

The Gorilla, Through the Lens of The It's Alive Show

It's An Alive Gorilla Show!

Don't get your hopes up: The puppets aren't animated.

What's it about?

Tonight's Spooky Movie Tuesday is "The Gorilla" (20th Century Fox, 1939). Walter Stevens (Lionel Atwill) has a problem: He's just received a death threat from the notorious serial killer known to the public as "The Gorilla."

Presenting the "victim."

With a reputation for killing his victims within twenty-four hours of issuing threats, Mr. Stevens has to hurry to take care of his affairs… or does he?

"The Gorilla's Paw"

With his butler, Peters (Bela Lugosi) and his maid, Kitty (Patsy Kelly), he delays notifying the police and hatches a scheme of his own.

Peters seems to know a lot about the Gorilla, and might have supernatural powers...

Nearly every funny line and quip is delivered by the Patsy Kelly as Kitty

He invites his niece, Norma Denby (Anita Louise) and her fiancée Jack Marsden (Edward Norris) to the house to discuss her inheritance.

What is their part in this scheme.

He hires the questionable Acme Detective Agency to act as precaution against the Gorilla, and they send detectives Harrigan (Harry Ritz), Mulligan (Al Ritz), and Garrity (Jimmy Ritz) to the scene.

The film's top billing, The Ritz Brothers.

The three bumbling detectives quickly discover that there's more than meets the eye to the Stevens household: Mysterious callers, a mustachioed stranger who seems to know the ins and outs of the strange house, the butler's apparent supernatural powers, and an actual gorilla (not an actual gorilla)!

Secret passages hide a horrible secret!

Who is the mysterious mustache man?

A gorilla, but is it THE Gorilla?

Some details

This film follows the popular Hollywood tradition of the "dark house." For those not familiar, these are typically suspense/thriller/horror movies that take place in a single location, usually a (haunted) mansion.

Often an elaborate set.

They often use murder to set up a mystery plot with memorable characters, revealing the culprit at the end. This feature takes the rare (for the time) approach of using the genre for a comedy as a platform for the Ritz Brothers' act.

But is it any good?

Let's get this out of the way: This movie is absolutely terrible. It's not scary at all. The jokes don't land. The plot isn't complex. The cinematography is pretty bad. Among its few redeeming qualities are Bela Lugosi's weird sinister performance as Peters and Patsy Kelly's hilarious one-liner delivery as Kitty. With almost nothing going for it, why am I bothering to review it at all? Well…

The It's Alive Show makes it better

This movie, this specific version of the movie (follow the link at the end) has high nostalgic value for me. Living in Pittsburgh as a perpetually broke college student near the turn of the century, I was fascinated by living in a location that had actual broadcast television stations beyond the big three networks. It was during this time that I discovered a program called "The It's Alive Show," which was produced by Clownhouse Productions (AKA the band "Deathmobile") and broadcast digitally on WBGN (later WEPA). Hosted by band front-man Mark Mehold as the zombie "Professor Emcee Squared," the show garnered quite the following with fans of classic horror, of which Pittsburgh is known for (thanks to a little local film called "Night of the Living Dead").

The Professor and company.

As far as I can tell, this YouTube video is the last remnant of the show (other than a few clips elsewhere). While it used to stream online back in the day, since the show went off the air (around 2015) the official site no longer has clips, the commercial intellectual property and the licensed nature of most of the films presented means that they can't really create an archive.

Making this the only place where you can catch "Mother and Urnie."

Still, this version is intact with all of the local commercials (also produced by Clownhouse Productions) in place, making it a fair representation of the original show's experience.

If you get the references, some of the commercials are quite funny.

A brief word of warning

PLEASE NOTE: This isn't the best episode of "The It's Alive Show," as it gets pretty offensive at times. It's still less purposefully meanspirited than your average episode of "South Park," but there is copious use of a negative slang term for the developmentally disabled. Even though the film itself is a light PG affair, the hosted portions of this program raise it to a solid TV-14, so use your best judgement when watching.

I mean, they don't advertise alcohol during "Davey and Goliath."

Where can I watch it? (Right here)

"The Gorilla" is available to watch on various streaming services, but the "The It's Alive Show" version on YouTube is located here:

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad -- WATCH THIS MOVIE (again)

Revisit Sleepy Hollow by way of Great Britain

Tonight's Spooky Tuesday pic is "The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad" (RKO/Disney, 1949). This is a compilation of two short features from the tail-end of a time when Walt Disney and his studio focused more on short standalone stories and musical animation rather than full feature-length narratives. This is usually attributed to manpower and resources being depleted by World War II.

The Wind in the Willows

What's it about?

Mr. Toad: heroic villain or villainous hero? Or just an idiot?

The first of these is an adaptation of the main plot of British author Kenneth Grahame's novel "The Wind in the Willows." In this short we are introduced through the narration of Basil Rathbone to a river community of anthropomorphic animals. This consists of Rat (Claud Allister), a steadfast British gentleman, Mole (Colin Campbell), Rat's kind but slow-witted compatriot, Angus MacBadger (Campbell Grant), the cranky Scottish manager of Toad Hall (the county seat of the locality), and Toad Hall's owner and heir Mr. Toad (Eric Blore), whose flights of fancy and rambunctious temperament have driven the once-regal hall to the brink of financial ruin, much to the chagrin of Mr. MacBadger.

A distinguished Water Rat.

A complacent Mole.

An angry MacBadger.

Since Mr. Toad had acquired a yellow "Gypsy caravan," he and his equine friend Cyril Proudbottom (J. Pat O'Malley) have been literally tearing up the countryside, causing their neighbors to flood the hall with requests for recompense.

The Destructive Duo.

Things take a turn for the worse when Mr. Toad sees an automobile for the first time, sparking a new mania.

The stolen vehicle.

Mr. Toad's friends are forced to sequester him in his room at Toad Hall until it has passed, but he escapes and is soon after jailed for car theft. At his trial, Mr. Toad (foolishly representing himself) explains that he traded the deed to Toad Hall for the automobile he was caught with, but his own witness turns on him and accuses Toad of trying to sell him a stolen car.

Nope. Just an idiot.

Sentenced to a prison sentence of twenty years, a repentant Mr. Toad soon escapes and attempts to clear his name of the false crime.

Mr. Winky, the real culprit?

Origins and legacy

This segment was originally meant to be a feature length production, but was cut due to a lot of the animation crew being drafted to the war. Some sharp-eyed viewers will also note that the gang of weasels that occupy Toad Hall near the end were later used as the direct inspiration for the "Toon Squad" in the 1980s movie, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit."

I mean, it's kind of obvious.

Although perfectly delightful, this story obviously isn't very spooky. Still, it has quite a lot of action and comedic chops. It definitely had autumnal vibes, even though the denouement takes place during Christmastime. No, this segment definitely doesn't belong on a "Spooky Tuesday" segment. However…

Ichabod Crane or The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

What's it about?

The second adaptation is a Bing Crosby narration of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" by American author Washington Irving. For those not familiar with the story, a few years after the American Revolutionary War, the quiet Dutch colonial settlement of Sleepy Hollow, New York, up the Hudson River from New York city and Terrytown is suddenly atwitter with the arrival of the new schoolmaster, the freakishly lanky Ichabod Crane.

Sounds suspiciously like Bing Crosby...

The studious and superstitious Mr. Crane quickly endears himself with the community thanks to his level-headed attitude and charm with the local ladies, but this is less from a sense of altruism and more from his unappeasable appetite and social ambition. His ungainly appearance and unflappable attitude quickly makes him the target of the mischievous "Brom Bones," a handsome and athletic local youth.

Remember when Disney wasn't afraid to put smoking and alcohol in their "kids" movies?

This antagonistic relationship is elevated to bitter rivalry when both men set their eyes on Katrina Van Tassel, the beautiful daughter of the richest man in Sleepy Hollow.

Von Tassel, sexpot.

Brom, for all his strength and looks is quickly outmatched by Ichabod's odd grace, intelligent charm, and greed for the elder Van Tassel's fortune. Nearly defeated at Sleepy Hollow's Halloween ball, Brom uses Ichabod's most prominent weakness against him: His superstition. Brom regales the gathered crowd with the story of Sleepy Hollow's most terrifying apparition, the Headless Horseman, a mounted ghost who rides over the countryside looking for a replacement for his lost head.

Kiss him, already!

The story quickly affects Ichabod who leaves the party to make his way back to the schoolhouse, past the church and graveyard the Horseman is alleged to rise from. Traveling along the quiet road, the terrified Crane imagines all sorts of ghosts and ghouls behind every tree and on the wind. Just as he begins to regain his composure, he is met with the otherworldly form of the Headless Horseman, and the chase begins!

Seriously, this is terrifying for all ages.

Great for a scare

Okay, so I just had to talk about this segment, which gave me no end of nightmares as a child. Even today, the minutes from when Ichabod Crane leaves the party to his arrival at the graveyard are some of the spookiest, most tense moments ever put to film. The imagery is so haunting and severe that it triggers some primal part of your brain.

My favorite shot of the whole film.

Anyone who has ever looked out the window of their parents' car on a wooded country road on a moonlit autumn night knows the exact sensation that this gives; shiver on your spine, the hairs standing up on the back of your neck, the dread when you see those mysterious lights in the forest (are they another car? A house? Or perhaps the candle of a supernatural Jack O'lantern?).

The thing you see before you die.

What's more, those anxious moments are followed up by the reveal of one of the scariest villains ever animated. It does not disappoint.

This is seriously scarier than any slasher film ever made.

Origins and legacy

Now, while perfectly serviceable and a fairly faithful adaptation of the short story that it's based on, there are a few notable differences: The book strongly implies at the end that the "Headless Horseman" was Abraham "Brom Bones" Von Brunt disguised to run off Ichabod Crane. This "child-friendly" adaptation however, is left more ambiguous, implying that Ichabod might have actually been taken by a very real Horseman. Interestingly, the character model of Brom Bones in the animation was later used as the inspiration for the character of "Gaston" in Disney's later "Beauty and the Beast" animation, so… Knowing THAT villain, one could even suppose that if the animated Brom was disguised as the Horseman, he could have "done in" Crane himself. It's little thoughts like this that keep the movie fresh in my mind, and something that I come back to every year to feel those shivers.

It's perfect in every way.

My recommendation:

If you've never seen it, I cannot recommend this movie enough. Even if you can't stand most of the rest of the production, the last ten or so minutes are well worth the runtime (which is a paltry one hour and eight minutes). It is genuinely scary, and may actually give your kids nightmares for years to come (so it's very rewarding).

Where can I find it?

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad is available to stream on Disney+. Watch it with the lights off for maximum fright!