Thursday, September 24, 2009

Tales From the 'Burgh

In my few years in Pittsburgh, I have had some rather unfortunate experiences with deliveries to my house.  Though I have yet to have anything directly stolen from my postbox, getting things delivered to my front door has proven in the past to be an arduous task.  I've waited for a whole fruitless day for the bell to ring, only to find out later that the driver says that they attempted delivery (DHL).  I've taken time off of work to be at my door when they said expected delivery was around noon, only to have them drop it off around six (UPS), and I've had others wait until I take twenty minutes out of the day to get some lunch from around the corner before they decide to deliver it (Federal Express).  I know where every service depot is around the area, because I've had to go there to collect items the inept delivery men have failed to get into my hands.

The setting is Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009.  The cell phone that my sister and brother-in-law were helping me to update is due to arrive, and I have to be home to sign for it.  Now, to most people this isn't that big of a deal, but those that know me well know that I don't often update my cell phone.  In truth this will be the third and most likely last time this decade, and only now because my last cell phone is dying and I can't find a replacement lithium ion battery for it.

Don't read too much into this.  It's not that I was extremely excited about getting the new phone, it's just that I don't have anything else going on in my life at the moment.

This is the story of that saga:

(From the journal of Michael Adams)

Wednesday, 9/23/09

Today is the day that I finally replace my old and worn-out cell phone.  I am determined to not let the FedEx delivery man cheat me today.  I set my alarm for 8:00 AM, but it didn't go off, so I have been up since 9:00, on the balcony waiting for the delivery.

9:00 - 10:00= Random people walking by, the USPS carrier came around 9:30, leaving my post to collect.  Went downstairs to get it.  Just stuff for Isaac.

10:02= A man that I am fairly certain does not live in the neighborhood parked in front of the building.  As he is driving a Cadillac, I think that he'll be able to pay the parking fine if he is there for more than two hours.  I'm counting it off.

10:19= I just saw a FedEx truck pull into the buildings over by the church.  I hope this is their next stop (yeah, right).

10:20= It's pulling out now.  It's coming this way... and it just passed me.  What the f***?

10:22= Went inside to check tracking to make sure the driver didn't mark the package as "attempted to deliver," but maybe the system hasn't updated yet.  Logged the time when I came back outside.

10:25= OBSERVATION: There are a lot of helicopters flying around today... for G20 summit?  I'm curious to see downtown, but I'm not leaving my post here.

10:27= HOLY SH**, the FedEx guy just passed the house going the opposite way.

10:28= Something smells like barbecue.

10:32= I'm going back in to check delivery status.

10:34= Still "on truck for delivery."

10:35= Starting to look like rain.

10:41= Here he comes again... and he just turned down East Ohio Street.

10:43= Military choppers over the Allegheny.

10:51= The guy with the Cadillac works at (or owns) Rita's, so I'll let it slide.

10:57= Status is still "on truck for delivery."

10:59= Weird looking guy in hoodie just tried to open building's doors.

11:02= Ambulance on E. Ohio moving toward Allegheny Center.

11:12= Weird-looking guy in hoodie apparently has keys to the building.

11:15= Still "on truck for delivery."

11:23= Fred (on a bike) and Nick came to the door.

11:24= People walking around with neon green stickers on their lapels.

11:30= Went inside (briefly) to check status and bank account.  Status was still "on truck for delivery."

11:34= Saw the UPS van for the third time today. Can FedEx be far behind?

11:37= Saw a truck towing a city bus.  It's starting to rain.  Man, I wish I could leave to go get some food.  It's raining pretty hard.

11:38= Had to abandon my post for fear of getting the journal wet.

11:41= I moved operations to the steps of the building's lobby, at least until it stops raining.  It feels good to sit down.  Not much of a view, but I can see if someone comes to the door.

11:44= Wish I was out hiking in this.

11:48= The rain has all but ceased.  What a ripoff!

11:56= The sun is out.

12:00= Hour four begins.

12:01= Another USPS truck goes by.

12:09= Went back to the balcony.  Chico seems peturbed.  He probably wonders what the hell is going on.

12:11= Brought a chair out onto the balcony.  My view is more obstructed, but I'm getting tired of standing in one spot.

12:13= There goes DHL's truck.  S.O.B.s!

12:17= Rita's Cadillac man is tying more balloons on the rail outside of the building.

12:24= There goes yet another USPS truck.

12:25= Lots of cop cars heading toward Allegheny Center.

12:30= Nick just left the building.

12:35= Kind of early for kids to get out of school, but there's a bus dropping them off.

12:38= Here comes another FedEx truck... is he stopping? No... Yes!

12:41= Success!

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